Back to the childhood game of "Telephone", anyone?
It's all fun and giggles when the initial message is relayed so misconstrued and misinterpreted by the time the message is passed around the circle of whisperings. Not so fun when such a game of telephone is played well into adulthood to start a chain of gossip that then becomes slander along the way to taint another's image or reputation.
No one knows what's what or who's who in the twisted and turned storyline.
Some might justify gossiping as their search for the truth of a person or matter, yet a lot of the times, they are seeking the answers from everyone else's mouth but from the source. Usually, it's not even one's business to meddle to be searching for anything on the matter, truth or not.
Gossip in this way usually results in pitting others against another in divisiveness. Gossip is gossip because it's not a direct conversation to build any close connection with another, but are those conversations being talked behind one's back - not doing justice to the one who is slandered to fend for themselves.
SERVING GOSSIP ON A PLATTER
I have learned how foolish it is speak too soon. I have done it to have spoken too soon and slapped my forehead with Homer Simpson's "doh!", although never with the harmful intent to spread gossip about anyone else. More like, been so honest with my own truths that I handed my own gossip on a platter to those who thrive on it to spread like wildfire.
Anyone who truly honors the truths and sensitive matters of others will have conversations built on mutual and undoubted trust, those truths staying within certain boundaries in respect and protection of privacy.
It’s natural to have conversations that are about others, peculiar situations, or events. This is part of us humans learning from one another through storytelling - sharing our stories or that of others in a beneficial way to start a dialogue that can result in gaining and expanding perspectives, acquiring much needed advice, sharing comfort and understanding, and upbuilding one another through someone else’s experiences or that of our own to impart.
But it is when those who speak without fully understanding a matter or having the complete picture that can be holding a platter of gossip in their palms to be serving round the table.
DETECTIVE OF LIES
Slander results when there is no care for the truth, or those who simply enjoy playing detective to find the lies that fill in any voids amongst the loose puzzle pieces they collect to create their version of twisted truth. Gossip is harmful behavior that is rooted in irresponsible behavior, speaking and spreading without thoughtfulness as to the consequences.
The ultimate danger is gossiping in such an irresponsible way leads to slander - tainting someone's reputation.
The gossiper in turn stunts their own growth by operating recklessly with their mouth spewing mess after mess for others to clean up or fix, failing to take accountability for their actions that impact others negatively. This type of behavior is usually prominent in school-age periods, but some don't outgrow this habit and thus take it into their adulthood. Playing this distorted game of telephone well into ages that should have developed into the peaceful silence of wisdom.
It becomes a vicious cycle where if one thread of the gossip unravels to be found false, the gossiper might then weave in more lies to hold their credibility in tact. Their reputation is now at stake for having misled others with a storyline that served as a drama to feast on, and they will coat it with whatever is palatable to make their perspective still stand as truth.
SPREADING DISEASE
Slander merely seeks to spread disease in infecting the thoughts that a person develops about another person or situation without ever seeking the truth of it to understand and connect.
Slanderers focus on others outwardly, playing off of the appearances so the understanding stays on the surface. Placing the focus on misconstruing the appearance of others, such a way of operating serves as a distraction from having to examine themselves inwardly. They need to make the plights of others into a drama so they can perhaps feel better about themselves so as to avoid addressing that the drama lies within their very self.
Slander unifies in divisiveness, unkindness - forming bonds over having a common enemy. It can target and ruin a person's name or reputation, and can lead to undue strife and hatefulness.
ACCOMPLICE TO SLANDER
Be self-aware as you can serve as an accomplice to the ugliness of slander when you fail to correct such untruths when it hits your ears and you know enough to take a stand against it.
To put a stop to the wildfire requires courage and a strong sense of integrity, but it could mean someone's very well-being or reputation that is targeted - might be salvaged.
Katy Perry sung it so right that "If you don't stand for anything, you will fall for everything", and when you fall, those leading the gossip will continue to walk all over you to do their bidding. You allow yourself to be their tool to spread such wildfire that is damaging and costly, and you will bear the weight of soot on your hands.
"Gossip dies when it hits a wise man's ears." - Unknown
Be mindful and wise to have your hands clean of soot so as to prevent your own surfaces from being traced back as the source of the wildfire. You will gift yourself with a clean conscience when you continually choose to engage in wholesome conversations that result in building emotional intimacy through trust, security, and affection when you honor truths not to be passed around the serving table to be devoured beyond recognition by hungry gossipers.
With LOVE. Always,
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