As much as it would be a nice thought if no one was in competition with another, it does exist and has its necessary lessons for those who take part in it, or are affected by someone else in competition with you.
COMPETITIVE MINDSET
When a person is operating in a competitive mindset, they are operating from a place of inner lack to be looking at another person in comparison - feelings of jealousies that are rooted from insecurities of one feeling somehow less, not enough, or worthless in what they have to offer - to then exert effort in trying to prove one's worth outwardly for validation. Sometimes it can also be rooted in this inner place that needs to win, needs to feel powerful over others, needs to always be on top - tirelessly one-upping others.
By seeking validation from external sources, one will never be truly satisfied as such external validation is bound to fluctuate from one mood, one opinion, or one criticism - all in the power of another person.
UGLINESS OF COMPETITION
Competition becomes ugly and vicious when the competitor will lie, cheat, and steal to win at all costs that only results in winning at the cost of disrespecting, dishonoring, discrediting, and demeaning or devaluing another.
One of the ugliest forms is when the competitor will steal ideas or plans and claim it as their own, while boasting it boldly as so in their momentary glory. Loudly so as to silence the other.
When one competes in such an underhanded manner - one is risking being lied to, cheated on, taken from their own successes - in return. In having created wins or successes on a mere facade by doing such things to another, the scales must be balanced to restore rights for the wrongs.
You cannot expect to stay on top for long when you take down and step over others to get there. Such a win does not have the foundation of integrity - built on truth, originality, and authenticity. To stand at the top of such a shaky foundation thus risks one's own great loss when it collapses under the weight of stolen materials.
A competitive person can achieve the same goal or results, but it's motivated by self-serving intentions of winning and sometimes at all costs - to not win fairly or with honest, pure intentions. The receiver or beneficiary will get the same gift, results, or goal that is achieved, but it is tainted with the competitive motives.
When trying to keep up with someone else's success, you are stunting your own growth - as you're not growing but stretching. Stretching to meet someone else's finish line, trying to keep at their pace. You are exerting more effort to be like them and not of what you are. You cannot become your own original when you are merely copying.
BEAUTIFUL BENEFITS OF COMPETITION
We all have some level of a competitive spirit within, it is what can motivate us, drive us, and fuel our creative passions. There are some healthy benefits when our competitive spirit is awakened, that can result in a beautiful way that is positive for self-growth. This competition is not against another, but for oneself's inspiration to improve.
To work at being your best in acknowledging and honoring someone else's best.
There is no underhanded ways of competing - as the goal is not to win in a mere victory, to out-beat someone else's efforts, or produce something that endeavors to outshine another.
By focusing on your own growth, you eliminate the rivalry that comes from the ugly side of competition. The ugly side that needs someone to beat to validate your own worth and value. This only wastes your own energy in this way as you will never beat another as you are not meant to be them - you have your own life to live to the full and shoes to fill with who you are, and what you do best.
The one you are eyeing in competition is likely not even looking back in your direction as they are moving forward in the direction meant for them and at a pace that is suited for their growth.
Should your competitive spirit stem from truly wanting what another has or is acquiring of the same aspirations, perhaps charging full-speed ahead of you, you have to be okay and accept when you are "losing" in being behind and perhaps even have failed attempts - by having good sportsmanship to shake hands with your perceived rival and acknowledge they perhaps deserve "the win" built on their own merit.
A true foundation of success is rarely built overnight, it takes many years, multiple setbacks and fails, and inner battles of defeat to get back up with determination to reach that success benchmark. So in the understanding that one has likely worked hard juggling multiple weights to finally obtain their success will eliminate the need to compete, and rather, lend respect and honor in clapping for what has been well-earned to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
FINDING INSPIRATION FOR YOUR OWN GROWTH
A healthy approach when looking at another person is to find inspiration in who they are, admiring their achievements that can serve to challenge you to work at being better and motivate you to achieving more - for yourself. To see that if they reached their goals and dreams of success, so can you also!
Comparison in this healthy sense can help gauge where you are at in your growth, what aspirations you desire to reach for, and a model of how to reach that for yourself. It might even be a surprising light bulb moment of acknowledging that their successes are not what you even desire for yourself - to then be content with yourself and where you are at in your own life. You might come to realize that what they have and are reaching for are not at all what you want or care to strive for. So you genuinely clap for them, root them on, and enjoy the view from right where you're at - even if it's comfortably in the backseat.
You do not gain any more of an essence to be like another person, by wasting energy being less of you. Don't you recognize how unique and preciously beautiful you are? Why would you want to be any less or like any other - than you?
Using your inner competitive spirit in this way is in contrast of merely stretching to temporarily keep up with another, it is for your soul's permanent growth. You are doing what you do best, focusing on your progress, and operating at your optimum - all at your own pace. When you fill your inner well in this way, you will find yourself happier and more confident within to then naturally share your gift of being who you are with others.
If you want a consistent and stable sense of validation, it must come from within - you.
You hold the power to value yourself, honor your gifts, and feel confident of all that you are - to love who you are, as you are. This comes from the realization that competition does not truly exist when you are just being you, doing your thing, and living your life - truly and authentically. There is no "behind" or "ahead" because there is no losing or winning - all in simply self-progressing.
We are all our own swirls of a fingerprint. We are all our own sparkle to shine alongside others to illuminate the universal sky we are a part of. We are each our own splash of paint on the canvas to contribute to the life of a whole masterpiece.
Competition becomes non-existent when we are self-assured of what makes us each our own. The competition mindset dissipates when we are able to rewrite it with the focus on becoming our better self, our better talents, our better version through our own growth - to then gift it out to others in being our better selves to the world around us.
Not measuring our worth, our value, our contribution based on keeping up with another's.
May you find your focus to only be in "competition" with yourself - to be better than you were in the past, to be better than you were yesterday - so that you may be your best self in the present and future.
With LOVE. Always,
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