I have been betrayed by those I had once embraced with deep affection, and still they sought to have the upper hand in portraying me to be the one to deliberately betray them.
The saying goes that a person can only betray when you allow them to get close enough to become your enemy. Close enough to know the details to stab you in the back with the painful infliction of betrayal. Leading you into their trap they hope to ensnare you into.
Such a betrayer should be mindful of the fate they procure for themselves, as they may be the one to fall right in the hole they themselves made.
In one of my experiences, I had a friend that did not care much to work and yet knew I was struggling to find a suitable job, let alone get an interview scheduled - actively applying and in need of one to support my ministry where all funds used toward it were voluntary. I did not make any fuss about this, I went about my efforts quietly knowing this was a need I was responsible to take care of to reach my goals at that time.
A woman we both knew had approached her about a job position that she thought would be suited for me. My friend refrained from ever telling me of it. Time had passed on, all the while we were hanging out exchanging all these sweet tokens of friendship. The woman then approached me and asked why it was that I never applied for the position as she was sure I would get the job and would then be able to fund my own expenses to be in the ministry. It didn't even hit me then that said friend would've held back such pertinent, exciting news from me.
No hard feelings even then. I applied and landed the job that was exactly the right pay and hours to perfectly commit to my ministry. All good.
But, said friend had the boldness to later confess to me that she did not tell me of the job because she wanted it for herself - it was not even about the job itself as she never even applied when she very well had the chance to do it in my ignorance - she wanted the news to be for her. She deliberately took away an opportunity that I needed all due to her own jealousies and offenses, all while hanging out with me like good 'ol friends listening to my attempts to find work and "wishing" the best for me.
I didn't even hold it against her at that moment she confessed. I freely forgave and let it go - thinking that I was honoring her in being a "good friend" to have confessed such a betrayal.
Such a thing could've had me bitter. Had me create resentments to hate her, hate her selfishness. Hate her deceit and betrayal and stay in a burned state.
But it's done and the transgression has passed in and out of my heart - it is now just a lesson, a memory of my past. I forgave her then in that moment and chose to honor that forgiveness.
THE LESSONS
What I came away learning is that her actions were a mere reflection of who she was at that time, at that stage of growth in her life to have done such a selfish thing to someone she embraced as her friend. There were even more layers to come of dramas in which she would twist my life moving on as a betrayal to her. The irony of the betrayer complaining of a perceived betrayal upon themselves.
She taught me what it feels like to be taken from by someone who merely wanted what I so sorely needed. It's really a terrible feeling to know from her own mouth that she deliberately took away or withheld "a platter" from someone "starved", in my case of starving for a job. And I hugged her guilt better after she confessed her betrayal.
She wounded me with the gift of knowing not to seek to ever take from someone to get what I may merely want. I thank her now for the beautiful lesson I have derived from how it all unfolded.
And The Beautiful Lesson Is:
Trust that what is meant for you, will be yours.
Yes, it took a detour to get the message delivered to me, to then be able to put forth the effort to apply, land the interview, and secure the job - fulfilling my own needs for my ministry. But what was meant for me, ended up being for me in a job I did receive to meet my needs.
God knows what you need, and he will see to it that it will be met and fulfilled.
THE GROWTH
I have learned no matter how good you are to a person, they may just be the very one to stab you in the back due to their own lack of morals, sense of character, or it being a matter of caving to a moment of weakness, perhaps handing you over to spare themselves one.
A person's actions are a mere reflection of their character, or in the case of betrayal - lack of it.
I have learned that we cannot control the actions of others, but we can control how we respond or are able to survive to thrive, and let the transgression pass.
Betrayal is betrayal. There are extreme scenarios of betrayal, and those like mine that scathe the surface of being betrayed over what was such a trivial matter to have betrayed someone over. And no, not the first time I have been a fool to betrayal. But the lesson will be the same in understanding that someone you hug with deep affection can be the very person to screw you over.
I think the worst kind of betrayal is the one that strings you along as if they have your back, as you are pouring so much of yourself into being good to such a person and acting in their best interests, just to find it was all a sham when you are blindsided with their betrayal. To have given so much and done so much on their behalf, just to find out they were warring against you as an enemy, and worst - twist you out to have betrayed them as they play victim.
I trust that The Universe sees and knows all things and will bring divine justice that is not corrupted by man's judgment call. I am thankful for all the wrongdoing against me that I have not had to weigh my back heavily with, not entertaining false friends who understand loyalty as having a common enemy. Should this be the foundation they build upon, their turned back is only one more opportunity - among the wolves they've surrounded themselves with - to be pounced upon.
May you not procure your own betrayals by deliberately betraying someone else in an attempt to get what you want or to serve your agenda. Whatever it is that we set up for someone else, be sure you would be welcoming of it in return as you are setting it up for your own fate.
Forgiveness will free your soul from harboring resentments to let such a transgression go. Choose to heal so you no longer burden yourself down with the weight of betrayal.
With LOVE. Always,
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